Checklist for the Sprogs

This isn’t a comprehensive or exhaustive list of all they need to know when they fly the coop. It’s just the thoughts that swirled through my mind on the drive back home today. (This doesn’t mean that darling husband or said sprogs don’t do these things now, only that they bear repeating.)

1) As you get older, make a point to remember birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions. It’s why Steve Jobs put a calendar on your iPhone. Use it.

2) Brush your teeth, morning and night. Floss. Never overlook the importance of oral hygiene. Girls like clean teeth.

3) Be prepared to share household chores 50-50 with whoever you live with. If your wife/partner/roommate abhors cleaning toilets and you could care less, clean the dang toilet. They’ll pick up the slack with a chore you despise.

4) If it is at all possible, never carry a balance on a credit card. And if you have to carry a balance, make sure you can afford to pay double the minimum payment. You heard me. Double.

5) Anytime someone sticks a long contract with tiny print in front of you, read it. All of it. Ask for a magnifying glass if you have to. Know what you’re signing.

6) Plant vegetables.

7) Have a pet at least once.

8 ) Never underestimate the ‘thank you’ wave while you’re driving and someone does you a kindness. Courtesy is contagious.

9) Giving Tiffany silver jewelry will always make a woman smile without forcing you to auction a kidney.

10) Recycle, compost, and be as gentle to the earth as you can. We only have one.

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