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My Very First Ren-Stravaganza

While I was in New York, I was presented the opportunity to go to the last weekend of the NY Renaissance Faire. Being someone who had never been to a Ren Faire, I leaped, pranced, capered, and twirled at the chance. “Yea, verily”, I spake. “And forsooth.”


Here is the arrival of the Queen. Elizabeth I, if you’re wondering. There may have been a few anachronistic touches, but we just soldiered on and went with the flow, as you do when you are in the middle of a HUGE crowd of Ren Faire fans and costumed people. With swords and crossbows. I was not going to be the one to argue with their timelines and casting choices. Nope. (Plus it mattered not a single bit. It was fun, not a history lesson.)


We did NOT get put in the pillory. So I guess we ‘faire-ed’ well. HA! Oh, how I do cracketh myself up.


All the buildings were real buildings, no tents to be seen. This Ren Faire lasts for two months of weekends. Two entire months. Wow. Most of the buildings contained vendors of food, drink, and other Renaissance tchotchkes. Clothes, jewelry, boots, swords, crystals, leather goods, Ren Faire garb, and food. Did I mention food? This was my favorite sign. Apparently, you could get anything on a stick back in Ye Olden Times. Ginormous snausages, cheesecake, corn on ye olde cob, frozen chocolate-covered bananas… you know, normal sixteenth century peasant fare.


And salty snacks, too.

The entertainment was fabulous, truly. We saw a wonderful French comedian/magician named Arsene Dupin who channeled Red Skelton and did a routine without uttering a single word.


We also saw an acrobat/daredevil-ish kind of performer named Dextre Tripp. He balanced on ladders and ropes, juggled with fire and chainsaws, and this guy never stopped talking. Not once. But he was pretty funny, so that’s okay.


Here he is climbing on the shoulders of an audience member. Oddly enough, he didn’t choose me for this bit.

Another act was the Cast In Bronze bell thingie. I can’t actually remember the proper name of the instrument, but here’s a picture:


No matter what it’s called, the music was pretty spectacular. I only wish the backing track had been a little quieter, and the bells a little stronger. However, it’s very much worth a listen, and was totally worth the damp tuchus I got while plopped on the grass.

I didn’t get any pictures of the knife throwing father and son act, or the joust, or the three women (Vixens En Garde) who acted out Henry V in ten minutes. I have to admit, they were kind of my favorite part. Anyone who can successfully meld ‘Holy Grail’, Shakespeare, puppets and swords gets my instant respect. And they were cinched into some rib-crushing and boob-lifting corsets at the time, so they get double props.


I had a magical and wonderful first-time experience at a Renaissance Faire. Thank you, New York. Thank you, Jen and Bob. Thank you, Bob’s ‘guy’ who scored him the free tickets. While I don’t think I will be dressing like a pirate/hooker anytime soon (you’re welcome, Oregon), I may force the darling husband and sprogs to a local Ren Faire next summer.

Away with ye, scallywags! Have you not some peasants to oppress or grog to swill? Why be ye still here? Off with ye!


6 Responses

  1. I can’t believe you didn’t show off those tattoos! 😉

    • If I’d still had them on, I guess I would have. But other, even more chestily-gifted women had theirs on display. Plenty of tatted boobage to go around, as it were.

  2. Ok, now you need to come down here next Labor Day weekend for the Scottish Games — largest in the country and just 3 miles from my front door. Meat pies, great bands, Scottish ale, men in kilts = fabulosity.

    • Very cool, Trish! I’ve not been to a Scottish Games, either. So far. 🙂 I guess I spent wayyy too much time at Irish Dance things.

  3. Back in Ye Olden Late Nineties, I was a singing wench at this Faire! I know those grounds very well. Also, I think I sampled every kind of food you could get on a stick while I worked there. The chocolate-covered bananas were the best. In fact, my favorite thing to do there was sit on top of the gate at closing time, and every time a woman walked by eating one I’d call out, “My lady thou hast a–oh, it’s only a banana.” Made a couple of people spit with laughter on that one.

    • Nicole, I thought of you numerous times during the day! (And not involving bananas!) One of the best parts about this adventure was that I didn’t feel out of place at all being in normal (for me) clothes. I suppose it’d be great to get dressed up, but I loved just observing everyone else! 🙂

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